PuriCute

I feel so lost witout you. I mean I am happy, but a part of me inside dies cause you arent around. Ive depended on you too much, and you were my light. Everything grew dark when I lost you. I hope you can get any chances of getting a hold of me, cause I swear its more harder than I thought to go on days witout you in my life. You became a part of me. The part that was the most important piece to keep me stable and living. Like I said, you were my faith. I cant go days without thinking about you and hoping you will come around. I miss you to the fuckin fullest. I jus hope you still carry the same feelings you last left me wit.

I hate the act. I hate the thought of you acting like you dont care when Im around but when it comes to the people I chill wit, you want to see how Im doing, you want to know everything thas going on wit me. I guess thas nice that you still care, but at the same time it really jus gets me even more mad and upset. It makes me wonder why the fuck do you care when you let me slip away like that. Why are you choosing now to care ? When we were together, its like you couldnt even acknowledge I was there. Maybe Im still trippen off it cause I hate the fact that I always tried to defend you, and make you seem like you were like no other, but you kinda jus pushed me away, gave up on me, and I just cant get over the fact that you really let me down. The thought of you, doesnt make me remember the good times, it makes me remember how much it all went to waste.. you had me so convinced you believed in me.. now I see you as an act of talk who gave up cause he couldnt handle taking us seriously.. maybe this is too uncalled for.. im jus irritated. lol

I totally miss being a kid. I think I am going to take this time to step into memory lane..

First pet. I think it was a turtle, I dont remember. But man , he didnt do very much. we let him walk around and stuff, but I forgot who it was that let him on the balcony and all of a sudden he was gone.. but when we looked down we didnt see him, so we werent so sure he fell off, so.. he kinda jus disappeared..we cant say he ran away cause well.. hes a turtle -_- till this day, have no idea whut happened to him.

I am awake at fuckin 4 in the morning. sigh. Lately I jus cant get any sleep. I dont know whut it is. I am happy. But..I feel like something is missing. Is it something I left unfinished? I always seem to have thoughts run thru my head. Not anything specific but jus in general about my life. Is it a sign? Is it tryna lure me to something? Like im really trying to figure it out. Certain people or events always occur between thoughts. Whut do they mean? Why do they pop up? Am I jus overthinking? I dont know.. lonely late nights suck lol.

There are people that are gonna let you down. People that care but lack showing it. People that have you convinced on things to believe theyre going to stick around, then until after awhile, fade away like the rest.

If someone really wanted to be in your life, theyll make the effort to. Theyll be real wit you. Cause that would mean they actually respect you.

Stop trying to hold everything together when theyre trying to slip through your fingers. Its them that allowed it. Dont settle yourself less. Some people jus cant keep up wit you, while youre trying to move foward.